"We don't Dududu here!" - W.J. Flywheel, Webporium Curator GET SMART - START PAGE GET SMART - SEASON ONE GET SMART - SEASON TWO GET SMART - SEASON THREE GET SMART - SEASON FOUR GET SMART - SEASON FIVE BACK TO NEAT STUFF HALL OF FAME MAIN PAGE GET SMART - FIFTH SEASON EPISODE GUIDE 1.  Pheasant Under Glass September 26, 1969 "Larrabee, has that sample come back from the Control lab yet?" - The Chief "It's on my desk, Chief." - Larabee "Bring it in." - The Chief "I'll need somebody to help me, that desk is pretty heavy." - Larabee "I'll help ya, Larrabee." - Maxwell Smart On a mission for CONTROL to rescue Professor Milo Pheasant, Smart and 99 learn that he is imprisoned within an impregnable glass dome. After four seasons on NBC, this was the first episode broadcast on CBS. Director: Don Adams, Writer: Arne Sultan / Chris Hayward Guest starring: Henry Brandon, Peter Brocco, Peter Canon, Paul Hahn, Ned Wertimer, Virginia Jaeger After being cancelled by NBC, this was the first episode broadcast on CBS. Martin Landau, who has a cameo in this episode, had just left Mission: Impossible at the end of the last season over a contract dispute. 2.  Ironhand October 3, 1969 "No, no, no, Barbie's Bye-Bye Baby Buggy Bargain Bazaar is on Balboa Boulevard. You're to go to Bunny Beebe's Bye-Bye Baby Buggy Bargain Bazaar on Barnaby Boulevard." - The Chief When IH Industries acquires KAOS, Max and 99 attempt Operation Baby Buggy Switch to stop the new head of KAOS, Ironhand, a man with an iron fist, from obtaining The Anti-Anti_Anti-Missle-Missle plans. The baby buggy switch was choreographed by June Taylor and Adams' wife, Dorothy Bracken, a June Taylor Dancer. Director: Don Adams, Writer: Lloyd Turner / Whitey Mitchell Guest starring: Billy Barty, Al Molinaro, Edward G. Robinson Jr., Judy Farrell, Paul Richards 3.  Valerie of the Dolls October 10, 1969 "Of course! The old secret supply room in the supply room trick." - Maxwell Smart When KAOS plans to destroy California by smuggling into the country dolls secretly containing the ingredients for the most powerful explosive known to man, Max and The Chief enroll in Miss Valerie's School For Expectant Fathers, convinced that it is a KAOS front. Director: Jay Sandrich, Writer: Ed Haas / Les Colodny Guest starring: Henry Corden, Danny Dayton, Caroline Adams, Antoinette Bower 4.  Widow Often Annie October 17, 1969 "I'm fine, 99, Now you'd better get out of here before my wife sees you." - Maxwell Smart When The Chief orders Max to romance and betroth Ann Cameron, a beautiful widow suspected of murdering her 12 husbands for the insurance money, which she donates to KAOS, the wedding coincides with The Smarts' first wedding anniversary, much to 99's dismay. Director: Charles Rondeau, Writer: Lloyd Turner / Whitey Mitchell Guest starring: Robert Karavelas, Dana Wynter, Raoul Frank Ann tells Max that he was the favorite of her 12 husbands, when in fact Max is actually husband number 13. She had already married and killed 12 Control agents. 5.  The Treasure of C. Errol Madre October 24, 1969 "Well, if it's all the same to you, Madre, I'd just as soon start tomorrow. Unless of course you wanna start mañana, it's up to you." - Maxwell Smart When KAOS heists CONTROL's payrolls, putting it into severe financial straits, The Chief sends Max, disguised as prospector Frogsie Debbs, to Mira Lodo, Mexico, to find Debbs' old partner C. Errol Madre, who posesses the second half of a map that leads to a gold mind that could restore CONTROL's operations. Director: Don Adams, Writer: Chris Hayward / Bob DeVinney Guest starring: Andy Albin, Alberto Monte, Fred Slyter, Natividad Vacio, Dick Yarmy, Robert Karavelas, Don Diamond, Broderick Crawford, Al Travis Did you know Hugh Hefner was a CONTROL Agent? In this episode, due to budget cuts, the Chief is holding a meeting in an elevator. When he calls in all the agents, right in the middle is the Playboy founder himself (above, top left). Is he doing a little moonlighting or perhaps working undercover? 6.  Smart Fell on Alabama October 31, 1969 "Max, this is a suicide mission. Whoever goes, will probably never come back." - The Chief "Yes, well, whoever it is, Chief, let's wish him good luck." - Maxwell Smart Because he failed to retrieve a little red book from a Kaos carrier,Max has to train,and recruit three convicts to break into a highly fortified Mansion where the Red Code Book is. Director: Alan Rafkin, Writer: Lloyd Turner / Whitey Mitchell Guest starring: John Dehner, Don Megowan, Victor Bozeman, Diahn Williams, Stanley Clements, Larry Vincent 7.  And Baby Makes Four (Part 1) November 7, 1969 8.  And Baby Makes Four (Part 2) November 14, 1969 "He's KAOS' most irresistible agent. A man so unassuming, so modest, so sweet and warm that you take one look at him, and you like him." - The Chief Max and 99 follow the wrong map and end up at KAOS's new HQ instead of the maternity ward and CONTROL must defeat Simon the Likable while 99 delivers twins. Guest star Dana Elcar, who plays Kruger, went on to play the Chief in the "Get Smart" reunion film, The Nude Bomb (1980). Director: Don Adams, Writer: Arne Sultan / Chris Hayward Guest starring: Jack Gilford, Dana Elcar, Judy Dan, Finster, Roy Dean, Karen Arthur, Sid Grossfeld, Jane Dulo, Richard Deacon Dana Elcar, who plays Kruger, went on to play the Chief in the "Get Smart" reunion film, The Nude Bomb (1980). 9.  Physician: Impossible November 21, 1969 "Your wife wrestled Battling Biff Banister?" - Maxwell Smart "My wife is Battling Biff Bannister!" - Larabee Mistaken for a doctor and his nurse, Max and 99 are kidnapped and forced to operate on a wounded gangster. Director: Alan Rafkin, Writer: Lloyd Turner / Whitey Mitchell Guest starring: B.S. Pully, Than Wyenn, Henry Corden The opening has a graphic saying they are in Bayonne New Jersey. Eddie is wounded there but when he kidnaps Max and 99 at the hospital they are in Washington DC which is 220 miles away. 10.  The Apes of Wrath November 28, 1969 "That's right, Armstrong: the old fake fingertips on the fire escape trick." - Maxwell Smart Several agents have been murdered by someone with incredible strength. The only clue is an empty banana peel. It is soon deduced that the killer is an ape. In the opening scene on the docks there is a ring style life preserver hanging on the wall behind the hiding agent's Trunk hideout. The name on the life preserver is "USS Minnow" Director: Richard Benedict, Writer: Lloyd Turner / Whitey Mitchell Guest starring: Maury Wills, Charles Bateman, Bob Carroll, Reuben Singer, John Barbour 11.  Age Before Duty December 5, 1969 "Good grief, 99 you look... 99." - Maxwell Smart Max is bewildered when his young contact dies of old age. Director: Harry Falk, Writer: Bob DeVinney Guest starring: John Fiedler, John Dennis, Ralph Moody, Harry Basch, Raymond O'Keefe, Maurice Hill, Leonard Bremen, Chuck Harrod 12.  Is This Trip Necessary? December 12, 1969 "Of course! The old pestle in the mortar trick" - Maxwell Smart Everyone important in Washington suffers bad dreams and the president orders CONTROL to discover why. At that moment, KAOS' Mad Pharmacist Jarvis Pim appears on TV to demand $50 million in ransom. If he doesn't get it, he'll use his new hallucinogenic drug on the entire population of the city. Max and 99 track Pim to the Dartfoot Spring Water Company, where Pim captures them using "the old mortar in the mortar trick." Director: Ron Joy, Writer: Dale McRaven Guest starring: Vincent Price, Andre Phillippe, DoDo Denny, Rose Michtom When the Chief describes the President's dream to Max and 99 he tells them that it involved him firing his whole cabinet and replacing them with the members of Jefferson Airplane. Of course, during this time the president was Richard Nixon and he almost did have a meeting with a member of the Airplane. Sometime around this period Grace Slick was invited to a White House tea for alumni of Finch College, where Tricia Nixon also attended, albeit a few years later. Slick was invited under her maiden name of Wing and she intended to use the occasion to pull a prank on Nixon. Her intent was to get close to the President and put a small amount of LSD into his tea. Slick also invited radical leader Abbie Hoffman to go to the White House with her. However, Secret Service recognized the pair and escorted them off the premises before Nixon could be dosed. Sodium Calcium Chloride is a chemical impossibility. Sodium and calcium are both metals, chlorine is a nonmetal. Just the word "chloride" without "mono" or "di" would indicate an ionic bond. These are formed with metals and nonmetals, however only one metal can bond with one nonmetal. Sodium Calcium Chloride (which would be NaCaCl3 if it was real) has two metals in it, and therefore is an impossible composition. 13.  Ice Station Siegfried December 19, 1969 "[Starker] Do what you always do. Bring in one of the dogs from the sled, de-frost him, feed him, then freeze him up again." - Siegfried 99 and CIA agent Quigley run into Siegfried and Starker while on a case in Canada. Meanwhile, Max and the Chief are snowed in at Miami, thanks to a KAOS plot. Director: Reza Badiyi, Writer: Arne Sultan / Chris Hayward Guest starring: Bill Dana, Cliff Norton, Regis Cordic, Del Moore, Owen Bush, Al Molinaro Don Adams refused to appear in this episode because he considered it a poor rewrite of the fourth season episode "Schwartz's Island". He called in sick on the day filming was to start and his friend Bill Dana was quickly hired to take his place. Adams only appears briefly in the opening scene. But, according to Get Smart writer Whitey Mitchell the real reason Adams missed the episode was because he was performing in Las Vegas. Adams did the Vegas shows for free in order to pay off a gambling debt. 14.  Moonlighting Becomes You January 2, 1970 "Due to technical difficulties beyond our control, this half hour program is only twenty minutes long tonight." - Frank Ogg 99 moonlights as the secretary of a radio personality to discover a secret KAOS code. Director: Alan Rafkin, Writer: Chris Hayward Guest starring: Victor Buono, Ron Husmann, Maudie Prickett, Bletcher, Allen Joseph, Sid Haig, Billy Bletcher 15.  House of Max (Part 1) January 9, 1970 16.  House of Max (Part 2) January 16, 1970 "Well, it's really quite simple: instinct, logic and a lack of suspects." - Maxwell Smart Max and 99 go to London to investigate a modern-day Jack the Ripper. Yhen on the trail of KAOS, Max poses as a wax sculpture of Hitler to spy on a scientist who brings waxworks to life. Director: Anton M. Leader, Writer: Chris Hayward Guest starring: Hedley Mattingly, Marcel Hillaire, Kurt Kreuger, Terrence Pushman, Ian Abercrombie, Jim MacGeorge, E.J. Schuster, Bill Oberlin, George Sawaya While the actor who portrayed W.C. Fields was a noted Fields impersonator, the actors who played Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy portrayed them for the first time. Jim MacGeorge (Stan Laurel) also portrayed Oliver Hardy in the Laurel and Hardy cartoon series. 17.  Rebecca of Funny-Folk Farm January 23, 1970 "Yes, it was me. I hated Rebecca, and I hated Hester. And as you can see, I wasn't to crazy about Sebastian, either. And as for Jason, he's a thief, a liar and a blackmailer. But he's my brother and I'm proud of him." - Hogarth Max is serving as a courier on board an airplane when he is forced to release his package from the plane, sending it to land on the roof of Hester Van Hooten's mansion. The only problem is Van Hooten hasn't allowed visitors to her house in 20 years and she and her brother aren't about to start now. Director: Charles Rondeau, Writer: Lloyd Turner / Whitey Mitchell Guest starring: Gale Sondergaard, Bryan O'Byrne, Paul Wexler, Judith McConnell 18.  The Mess of Adrian Listenger January 30, 1970 "Larabee, I'm going down to the lab, if anybody wants me, you know where I'll be." - The Chief "Where's that, Chief?" - Larabee While attending the funeral of the latest Control Agent who was mysteriously killed, Max, 99, and The Chief are shocked to find a carved Headstone with Max's name on it. Director: Charles Rondeau, Writer: Chris Hayward Guest starring: Pat Paulsen, Tommy Farrell, Pat Conway 19.  Witness for the Execution February 6, 1970 "Just a minute, not so fast. This may be the old bomb in the bonbon box trick." - Maxwell Smart Max is assigned to protect Kaos Agent Dietrich. Dietrich has turned informant,and will give testamony on the inner workings of Kaos that would put an end to Kaos.The only obstacle however is a man name Kibbee,a ruthless Kaos assassin who has never failed an assignment. Will Max be able to protect Dietrich, and himself from Kibbee also known as the Exterminator? Director: Alan Rafkin, Writer: Lloyd Turner / Whitey Mitchell Guest starring: William Schallert, Fabian Dean, Jim Connell, Joseph Bernard 20.  How Green Was My Valet February 13, 1970 "No, I found a salami." - Maxwell Smart Dr. Harper dies, leaving the only sample of his rocket fuel behind and KAOS finds it first. Max and 99 have to pose as a valet and maid at the Bulmanian Embassy to recover the stolen fuel. When 99's mother can't babysit, the Chief and Larabee are forced to take care of the twins so the Smarts can go to work at the embassy. Meanwhile, Max must get into the wine cellar to find the fuel, but the only key is around the neck of the ambassador. Director Dick Carson is brother to Johnny and writer Gloria Burton is Don Adams older sister. Director: Dick Carson, Writer: Gloria Burton Guest starring: Jonathan Harris, Julie Bennett, John Trayne, Diana Webster 21.  And Only Two Ninety-Nine February 20, 1970 "Max, are you sure you and Larabee aren't related?" - The Chief Max comes home from work one evening to find 99 in bed, with a back eye. 99 explains it away as nothing. When he inquires about 99's visit to her Mother, 99 says that she didn't feel much like visiting her. This makes Max suspicious, and before he inquires about anything else, the telephone rings. It is the Chief who informs Max that the woman in his apartment is not 99 but an imposter. Director: Don Adams, Writer: Arne Sultan Guest starring: H.M. Wynant, Nicholas Georgiade When "Sonya" uses her real voice, it is provided by June Foray, the voice of Natasha Fatale in the Bullwinkle Show. Max says that he has to be at work "early this morning", but when 99 is sitting on his lap trying to persuade him to eat the big breakfast she made, you can clearly see that her watch reads 11:15. This may not have been noticed when originally broadcast but today with big screen TV's these mistakes are easier to spot. 22.  Smartacus February 27, 1970 "Of course, the Professor Peter Peckinpah all purpose anti-personnel Peckinpah pocket pistol under the toupee trick." - Maxwell Smart Max and the Chief investigate a series of security leaks that seem to be connected to a chain of spas. Director: Charles R. Rondeau, Writer: Lloyd Turner / Whitey Mitchell Guest starring: John Zaremba, Michael Lane, Ronald Long 23.  What's It All About, Algie? April 24, 1970 "Well, let's look on the bright side of things, Chief: it's a good thing that he gave me the list before he disappeared, rather than after he disappeared." - Maxwell Smart KAOS Agent Algernon DeGrasse owns a nursery that uses its plants to spy on important people in Washington. After a CONTROL agent disappears, Max goes to work in the nursery to crack the case. While he's working undercover as a Japanese gardener, 99 stocks up on plants for their apartment. Director: Don Adams, Writer: Arne Sultan / Chris Hayward Guest starring: John van Dreelen, Eddie Ryder, Loree Frazier, Walter Seifert 24.  Hello, Columbus - Goodbye, America May 1, 1970 "Borgia! Of course! You're the man who poisoned 23 people and a pair of parakeets." - Maxwell Smart KAOS Agent Algernon DeGrasse owns a nursery that uses its plants to spy on important people in Washington. After a CONTROL agent disappears, Max goes to work in the nursery to crack the case. While he's working undercover as a Japanese gardener, 99 stocks up on plants for their apartment. Director: Alan Rafkin, Writer: Pat McCormick Guest starring: Vito Scotti, Oscar Beregi, Ralph Manza, Buddy Lewis, Billy Barty, Jerry Maren 25.  Do I Hear a Vaults? May 8, 1970 "Well, Chief, everything went off perfectly without a hitch. We left Control, got into the armoured truck, went through a carwash three times, in case anyone was following us." - Maxwell Smart The Chief meets Smart at a public library to recover a book containing names and addresses of CONTROL agents. Max and Larrabee transport the book in an armored car to a bank vault, but Max accidentally locks the vault door on both the Chief and Larrabee. Director: Alan Rafkin, Writer: Chris Hayward Guest starring: Ned Glass, Herbert Voldand, Ann Summers, George Sawaya, Robert Karvelas 26.  I Am Curiously Yellow May 15, 1970 "Goodbye, Larabee." - Agent 99 A villian known as the Whip uses a special gong to hypnotizes Max. When he is under the Whip's control, Max steals the NARCO 5-12. Later, with the help of Chief and Larabee, Max is cured and captures the Whip. In this episode Don Adams walks through a beaded curtain causing all the beads to fall off the strings onto the floor (above left). This same gag was reprised in the 2008 Get Smart movie with Steve Carell. Director: Nick Webster, Writer: Lloyd Turner / Whitey Mitchell Guest starring: Robert Middleton, Victor Sen Yung slideshow GET SMART - START PAGE GET SMART - SEASON ONE GET SMART - SEASON TWO GET SMART - SEASON THREE GET SMART - SEASON FOUR GET SMART - SEASON FIVE BACK TO NEAT STUFF HALL OF FAME MAIN PAGE Content intended for informational and educational purposes only under the GNU Free Documentation Areement. Get Smart copyright © Talent Associates, Columbia Broadcasting System (CBS), National Broadcasting Company (NBC), Paramount Television, Sony Pictures Home Entertainment and Worldvision Enterprises.