"Would you believe it's a TV classic?" - W.J. Flywheel, Webporium Curator GET SMART - START PAGE GET SMART - SEASON ONE GET SMART - SEASON TWO GET SMART - SEASON THREE GET SMART - SEASON FOUR GET SMART - SEASON FIVE BACK TO NEAT STUFF HALL OF FAME MAIN PAGE GET SMART- SECOND SEASON EPISODE GUIDE 1.  Anatomy of a Lover September 17, 1966 "Hymie's programming for neatness was stronger than his programming for evil." - Maxwell Smart KAOS reprograms Hymie to murder the Chief. After Max foils the attempt, and unable to go through dismantling him, he hides Hymie in his apartment. Posing as Max's cousin, Hymie meets the Chief's daughter who immediately becomes smitten with the robot. KAOS again reprograms Hymie, and this time, he's out to kill Max! Director: Bruce Bilson, Writer: Gary Clarke Guest starring: Laurel Goodwin, Larry Gallery, Victor Fiore 2.  Strike While the Agent is Hot September 24, 1966 "How do you like that? The old secret panel in the bookcase trick. How corny can you get?" - Maxwell Smart An agent dies, which leaves Max in charge of the "Spy's Guild" labor negotiations. Director: Gary Nelson, Writer: Bud Grossman Guest starring: Pat McCaffrie, Alan Dexter, Dino Natlai, Lisa Pera, Maria Sokolov Smart reveals that he knew that the KAOS agent's gun was empty, because he identifies it as a Luger, which only holds six rounds. The weapon he takes from the agent is actually a Walther P38. In either case, both weapons, like most automatics, have eight round magazines. If the Walther P38 sounds familiar it's because the Walther PPK is James Bonds weapon of choice. It's he P38 only appeared in the film adaptations of From Russia with Love and Goldfinger but was not Bond's offically issued pistol. But, if you watch Bond when he is shooting at Goldfinger's men after the car chase, you can see he's holding a P38 instead of his PPK. It's possibly a movie mistake. 3.  A Spy for a Spy October 1, 1966 "Well that's a little drastic, isn't it, Siegfried? Couldn't you have just shushed him?" - Maxwell Smart A series of kidnapping take place between KAOS and CONTROL, masterminded by Siegfried. So many kidnappings take place, no one is left but Siegfried and Maxwell Smart, who must negotiate the trade of captured agents. Director: Bruce Bilson, Writer: Stan Burns / Mike Marmer Guest starring: Bernie Kopell, Pitt Herbert, James Lanphier, Barbro Heddstron, Barbro Hedstrom, Robert Karvelas This episode marks the first appearance of Siegfried played by Bernie Kopell. 4.  The Only Way to Die October 8, 1966 "Would you believe the sixth fleet?" - Maxwell Smart Max is almost killed but then CONTROL pretends that he is dead so he can complete a secret mission to protect the IRS from a bomb planted by a KAOS agent known only as the Blaster. Director: Bruce Bilson, Writer: Arne Sultan Guest starring: Alex Hassilev, Harry Basch, Edmund Hashim, Gordon Jump 5.  Maxwell Smart, Alias Jimmy Ballantine October 15, 1966 " I'd like to volunteer to find a volunteer." - Maxwell Smart Max has to impersonate a safe cracker named Jimmy Ballantine. He has his face wrapped in bandages so KAOS won't recognise him. 99 poses as a manicurist & agent 13 is in the towel steamer. Control believes the barber shop is a KAOS front. The KAOS agents want Max to open the vault of a federal reserve bank. 99 doesn't know which one,so the Chief has all the banks vaults left unlocked. Max opens the vault, KAOS guys are removing the money & plan to kill Max,when he gets the drop on them & their plan backfires. 99 & the Chief arrive & Max accidentaly locks the Chief in the vault. Director: Gary Nelson, Writer: Arnie Rosen Guest starring: Tim Herbert, Howard Morton, Steve Pendelton, Vic Tayback When Jimmy Ballantine's prison photograph is displayed in the Chief's office, his prison serial number is "869913" - a combination of the numbers of Control members Maxwell Smart, 99 and Agent 13, whose assignments always had him hiding in mailboxes, bus lockers, washing machines, and the like. Max's face is wrapped in bandages because Don Adams had emergency dental surgery that made his face swell up. 6.  Casablanca October 22, 1966 "Well, I could say the Maltese Falcon, but you'd never believe me." - Maxwell Smart After he is ordered to go on vacation, Max pursues the Choker to Casablanca, where he unknowingly meets 99. Director: William Waird, Writer: Joseph C. Cavella / Carol Cavella Guest starring: Louis Wills, Gordon Jump 7.  The Decoy October 29, 1966 "There are worse assignments than this. I once knew an agent who was locked in a washing machine for three days. " - Maxwell Smart CONTROL makes KAOS believe that Max is carrying a secret code. Director: William Wiard, Writer: Sydney Zelinka / Ronald Axe Guest starring: Sheila Leighton, John McLiam, Gil Green, Len Lesser At the meeting in the beginning, Chief accidentally calls two different agents No. 58. 8.  Hoo Done It November 5, 1966 "Killed by an exploding birthday cake. 99, there's something funny going on around here." - Maxwell Smart Max and Harry Hoo try to solve a murder of an agent in a tropical hotel, but their suspects keep turning into victims. Director: Gary Nelson, Writer: Dee Caruso / Gerald Gardner Guest starring: Maureen Arthur, Raoul Franck, Tol Avery, Bob Michaels, Anthony Eustrel 9.  Rub-a-Dub-Dub . . . Three Spies in a Sub November 12, 1966 "Say, Siegfried, this sure is a nice little submarine you got here." - Maxwell Smart Max and Agent 99 are captured by a KAOS sub commanded by Siegfried. Director: Bruce Bilson, Writer: Stan Burns / Mike Marmer Guest starring: Bernie Kopell, Russ Grieve, Jack Rigney, Ed Hice, William Boyett The submarine sequences were shot on a set from Assault on a Queen (1966). Don Adams' stunt double Eddie Hice has a speaking part as Krueger. 10.  The Greatest Spy on Earth November 19, 1966 "Eh... listen Hondo, I eh, I hope I wasn't out of line with that crack about the ape..." - Maxwell Smart Max and Agent 99 go undercover to a circus in order to find a KAOS smuggling ring. Director: Joshua Shelley, Writer: Dee Caruso / Gerald Gardner Guest starring: Harry Varteresian, Mickey Manners, Paul Dooley, Victor Lundin 11.  Island of the Darned November 26, 1966 "What are you talking about, 99? We have to shoot and kill and destroy. We represent everything that's wholesome and good in the world." - Maxwell Smart 86 and 99 are stranded on a KAOS controlled island where they must fight for their lives. Director: Gary Nelson, Writer: Buck Henry / William Raynor Guest starring: Harold Gould, Fabian Dean, Charles Horvath 12.  Bronzefinger December 3, 1966 "Well, 99, we are what we are. I'm a secret agent, trained to be cold, vicious, and savage. Not enough to be a businessman." - Maxwell Smart Max has to learn about art in order to try to capture an art thief. Director: William Wiard, Writer: Lila Garrett / Bernie Kahn Guest starring: Joseph Sirola, Joan Patrick, Richard Karlan, John Bliss, Robert Patten The building shown as the establishing shot of the art museum is actually the U.S. Supreme Court Building. 13.  Perils in a Pet Shop December 10, 1966 "There are ways to make a parrot talk Chief." - Maxwell Smart Max is following a Kaos agent who is smuggling a parrot. While questioning the parrot he is freed by his lawyer and Max and 99 trail him to a pet shop. Max learns that the pet shop is a cover for Melnick, the Smiling Killer. They learn that the parrots are being used to memorize secret information and then smuggled out of the country. Director: Bruce Bilson, Writer: Martin Ragaway Guest starring: Donald Murphy, Johnny Seven, Dick Wilson, Leonard Bremen This was Red's final role. Red was the dog who played Fang - Agent K-13. Red was owned and trained by Rudd Weatherwax, but handled on the set of Get Smart by William MacAllister Weatherwax. His other credits include Bachelor Father (1957) and Alfred Hitchcock Presents (1955). According to everyone associated with Get Smart, Red just would not listen to instructions. Shots that involved the character Fang ended up running long and costing the production a lot of money and time. In the second season, Fang was written out of the series. On the show, it was explained that Fang had retired from the field and was working a desk job. 14.  The Whole Tooth and . . . December 24, 1966 "I don't think we should talk right here in the open, Chief, I think we should use the cone of silence." - Maxwell Smart While carrying plans for a nuclear reactor, Max runs into KAOS Agents, so he must hide the plans. Max later has to pretend to be a convict and go to jail to get them back. Director: William Wiard, Writer: Lila Garrett / Bernie Kahn Guest starring: Howard Wendell, John Alvin, Stuart Nisbet, Joseph Mell, Robert Strauss They must have liked that building. When Max is sent before a judge in the Midwest, the establishing shot of the courthouse is of the Supreme Court building in Washington, D.C.. The Supreme Court building stood in for an art museum in episode 12. 15.  Kiss of Death December 31, 1966 " There's a Swedish actress sleeping in the wall safe." - Agent 13 A women pretends to be in love with Max in order to try to kill him. Director: Bruce Bilson, Writer: Stan Burns / Mike Marmer Guest starring: Bob Banas, Geraldine Brooks, Larry D. Mann, Robert Ball 16.  It Takes One to Know One January 7, 1967 "No, when I sign off, I put my shoe on." - Maxwell Smart Octavia is destroying all of the number two men of CONTROL, so Hymie becomes the new number two man. Director: Earl Bellamy, Writer: Gary Clarke Guest starring: Gayle Hunnicutt, Woodrow Parfrey, Martin Kelley, Paul Hahn 17.  Someone Down Here Hates Me January 14, 1967 "You fools! Incompetents! Bunglers!Dumkopfs! Sissies! Call yourselves killers. You are not worthy of the name. In the past three weeks, Maxwell Smart has personally eliminated no less than eleven of our most vicious, brutal, cold-blooded agents! Some of whom were my most best, dearest, sweetest, kindest friends." - Siegfried KAOS puts up a reward to kill Max an announces that their annual party will be canceled if they don't kill him, only causing more trouble for Max. Director: Earl Bellamy, Writer: Nate Monaster Guest starring: Bernie Kopell, Craig Huebing, Charles Irving, Dort Clark 18.  Cutback at CONTROL January 21, 1967 "Schmart, KAOS is a growing organisation. And you'll be working with a great bunch of boys." - Siegfried The Senate is close to closing down CONTROL which leads to some agents working with KAOS. Director: Earl Bellamy, Writer: Nate Monaster Guest starring: Bernie Kopell, Harry Bartell, Paul B. Price, Mickey Deems, Bob Homel After many appearances, this is the first episode in which Robert Karvelas has lines. Barbara Feldon does not appear in this episode but provides the voice of the operator. 19.  The Man from YENTA January 28, 1967 "There's something more important than medals, 99. It's after six. I get overtime." - Maxwell Smart CONTROL works with the Israelis to protect an Arab prince, but everything goes wrong. Director: Bruce Bilson, Writer: Arne Sultan Guest starring: Walker Edmiston, Alan Oppenheimer, Paul Comi 20.  The Mummy February 4, 1967 "Listen, 13, if you hate your job so much, why don't you get into some other line of business?" - Maxwell Smart KAOS is smuggling agents into the country in mummy cases. Director: Earl Bellamy, Writer: Budd Grossman Guest starring: Laurie Main, Lisa Gaye, Marc London Once again the building shown in the establishing shot of what is supposed to be the art museum is actually the U.S. Supreme Court Building. 21.  The Girls from KAOS February 11, 1967 "Eh... I've forgotten rule 5, Chief. But I know rule 6. Rule 6 states that all Control agents must memorize Rule 5 before proceeding to rule 6. " - Maxwell Smart Max is assigned to protect Miss USA, but KAOS has other plans. Director: William Wiard, Writer: Joseph C. Cavella / Carol Cavella Guest starring: Tisha Sterling, Virginia Lee, Valerie Hawkins, Sidney Clute 22.  Smart Fit the Battle of Jericho February 18, 1967 "Don't move, Joshua. This hammer happens to be a 45 caliber pistol." - Maxwell Smart When a Control agent is killed (made to look like an accident) while undercover, Max is assigned to investigate his death and to find out how a man name Frank Lloyd Joshua is causing high-rise buildings to explode. Director: Bruce Bilson, Writer: Arne Sultan Guest starring: Angelique Pettyjohn, Steve Gravers, William Chapman, Louis Quinn During a fight scene, Don Adams' stunt double Eddie Hice accidentally connected with a punch and broke Adams' nose. 23.  Where-What-How-Who Am I? February 25, 1967 "Well, Chief, you got here just in time. Here they are and we got them all the way down the line. You can throw the book at them. Murder, espionage and dispensing food without a license." - Maxwell Smart 86 overhears a plot to kill scientists but after a car crash Max ends up in the hospital and KAOS uses a creative way to protect this information by giving him an amnesia pill. It's the latest development from the labs at KAOS, and it's available without a prescription. Director: Gary Nelson, Writer: Ray Brenner / Barry E. Blitzer Guest starring: JacQueline Russell, Peter Coe, Julian Burton, George N. Neise 24.  The Expendable Agent March 4, 1967 "I'm getting complaints from the landlord about the gun battles in the hall, and the bombs in the lobby, and the knife fights in the elevator." - Maxwell Smart A British scientist who came to America to reveal a new rocket fuel formula hides at Max's apartment as KAOS tries everything they can to capture him and steal the formula. Director: Gary Nelson, Writer: Dee Caruso / Gerald Gardner Guest starring: Herb Eden, Irwin Charone, Dick Patterson, Herb Ellis While at Control headquarters, Max leans against a blackboard, and the chalk-written formula transfers to the back of his suit jacket. He then goes to the airport where he tackles a woman. There are no chalk marks on his suit jacket in that scene, yet later, when he arrives back at Control headquarters, the chalk-written formula has returned to his jacket. 25.  How to Succeed in the Spy Business Without Really Trying March 11, 1967 "Twenty years I have been with them [KAOS]. Stealing, robbing, lying, killing, murdering. Und what did I get out of it? Nothing! Just a lot of fun." - Siegfried Max and 99 are saved by Siegfried, who wants to defect. The Chief doesn't trust Siegfried until he starts to sell important information about KAOS. But the KAOS plans to rob Fort Knox is just a diversion as Siedfried's real plan is to kidnap all the Chiefs of Control using knock out gas and a fake nose. Director: Gary Nelson, Writer: Mike Marmer Guest starring: Bernie Kopell, King Moody, Nancy Walters, Marc London, Frank Kumagai This is the first episode that features Shtaker and would begin Sieffried's famous catch-pharse, "Shtarker... Nein! Zis is KAOS! Ve don't [weakly imitates Shtarker's comment] here!" 26.  Appointment in Sahara March 25, 1967 "Then we may have to blast them. It's the only way to keep piece in the world. " - Maxwell Smart Once KAOS gets a nuclear bomb, they try to blackmail the world into disarmament, but Max and 99 are sent to save the day. Director: Don Adams, Writer: Gary Clarke Guest starring: Michael Corhan, Phillip Baird, Myrna Ross, Vic Tayback, Peter Mamakos 27.  Pussycats Galore March 25, 1967 "It's really quite simple 99, all we have to do is look over all the Pussycats and the one with the most voluptuous figure, he's our man." - Maxwell Smart After important scientists begin to go missing, Max and 99 go undercover at the Pussy Cat Club to solve the mystery. Also under cover at the Pussy Cat Club is Control Agent 38, Charlie Watkins (Angelique Pettyjohn), who is an undercover male agent and master of disguise posing as a scantily clad Pussy Cat waitress. Director: Sydney Miller, Writer: Arne Sultan Guest starring: Jean Marie, Angelique Pettyjohn, H.M. Wynant, Ted Knight, Kelly Fitzpatrick When told that he will be in danger and that enemy agents will be gunning for him, Max says something like, "Die Wieland Acht!" which 99 interprets as meaning, "And Loving it!" The correct phrase in German is, "Und liebend es!" 28.  A Man Called Smart (Part 1) April 8, 1967 "Poor Finletter. He's the only man who ever drowned in dirt." - Maxwell Smart KAOS steals a water evaporation formula (DRY-UP) and blackmails the country by threatening to dry up all its water. This was originally planned as a Get Smart feature film but when the project was shelved was turned into a three part episode season finale. Director: Earl Bellamy, Writer: Leonard Stern Guest starring: Howard Caine, John Myhers, Grant Sewell, Ward Donovan, Barry O'Hara, Frank Jamus, Neil Elliot, Maxine Stuart, William Schallert This three-part episode was originally written as a script for a feature-length "Get Smart" movie for theatrical release, but Paramount decided against that in the wake of only fair box office returns for Munster, Go Home! (1966), Batman: The Movie (1966), and McHale's Navy Joins the Air Force (1965). 29.  A Man Called Smart (Part 2) April 15, 1967 "Chief, KAOS has just struck and struck hard. They've dried up Florida's two largest bodies of water: Lake Okeechobee and the swimming pool at the Fountain Blue hotel." - Maxwell Smart Admiral Hardgrade, CONTROL's first chief, is appointed by the president to take charge of CONTROL during this crisis. He sends the Chief, Max and 99 into the field to interview Bediyoskin and learn who's behind the DryUp caper. Director: Earl Bellamy, Writer: Leonard Stern Guest starring: Howard Caine, John Myhers, Grant Sewell, Ward Donovan, Barry O'Hara, Frank Jamus, Neil Elliot, Maxine Stuart, William Schallert 30.  A Man Called Smart (Part 3) April 22, 1967 "But KAOS is vicious, evil and rotten." - Maxwell Smart KAOS attempts to kill the Chief in his hospital room, but a sharp-eyed 99 foils the plot. Investigating a clue at Three Brothers Omniwash, Max and 99 discover TBO means T.B.Orlando (played by Kenneth Mars above right), a Hollywood executive. Or does it? When Orlando turns up dead, Max and 99 must find the truth before KAOS dries up the Mississippi River. Director: Earl Bellamy, Writer: Leonard Stern Guest starring: Howard Caine, John Myhers, Kenneth Mars, Grant Sewell, Ward Donovan, Barry O'Hara, Frank Jamus, Neil Elliot, Maxine Stuart, William Schallert Actually a post-production error in editing, this being the middle of a 3 part episode, at the end "Chief" is shot by a young man in a wheel chair, yet in the recap at the start of the following episode, he is wounded by an older man with his shooting crutch. slideshow GET SMART - START PAGE GET SMART - SEASON ONE GET SMART - SEASON TWO GET SMART - SEASON THREE GET SMART - SEASON FOUR GET SMART - SEASON FIVE BACK TO NEAT STUFF HALL OF FAME MAIN PAGE Content intended for informational and educational purposes only under the GNU Free Documentation Areement. Get Smart copyright © Talent Associates, Columbia Broadcasting System (CBS), National Broadcasting Company (NBC), Paramount Television, Sony Pictures Home Entertainment and Worldvision Enterprises.